Thursday, September 13, 2012

This season.

My seasons have shifted and not in just in the form of the teardrop puddles collecting on my front porch whispering the promise of fall. This is totally happening right now, btw.  I am listening to it all out an open window, wine in hand, with a smile the size of Kansas. Tiny droplets of joy.

But this life season? Well, it blossomed about 2 weeks ago, and I am wrapped waist deep in this warm embrace of new and pleading with myself daily to not forget this feeling.

In case you didn’t know this, first grade is a whole lot different than kindergarten. As in, I’m no longer rockin’ the newbie spot and I get it this time around. She gets it… and more importantly, nobody is crying. Okay, so maybe I cried a little but I promise it was for half a second and nothing more than a boatload of pride for my gal. She’s just so brave.

Two teeth down, one pound heavier and billowing over with confidence, she’s an expert on school.  I mean, “Those kindergarten kids are just so little and scared all the time”. Ha. How quickly she forgets. And yet, she didn’t even need Mommy to tag along on her first-day-daddy-drop-off date.  It went beautifully. So maybe she doesn’t forget. She just grows.

Surprisingly, we’ve had a lot of this

And very little of this.

First grade? I like you.

There’s something to be said about this new season. And while, it seems so trivial (and rather embarrassing) to say it out loud… I walk around this space with the mentality of a survivor.  I made it. It’s no secret that last year wasn’t my golden one in the sun. I struggled. 6 years of kids in a 7-year-old marriage will do that. We’ve been busy and tired for a really long time. That can really wear on your spirit some. To finally have a moment to stop and feel grounded on familiar territory feels like victory. For the first time in a really long time, I am kid free for several hours a week. And while I miss them all like crazy…they were ready. 

We all were.

I finally went to the eye doctor, met a friend for lunch without securing a babysitter and took at nap at 10am in a quiet *read- empty* house. If you are there too, you get it. In this season, just calling and making an eye doctor appointment without all the added planning feels like a present. A very welcomed present. And P.S--- new, LONG overdue, contacts are quite wonderful too.

So, I haven’t been blogging.

And I haven’t been running.

I probably didn’t call you back yet.

But I’ve breathing. And listening to rain. And state-size smiling.

Perhaps, I’m growing too.