Thursday, August 13, 2020

Molly's golden year.

It's a bit ironic that your golden year falls smack dab in the middle of a global pandemic in a year that brought us murder hornets, lackluster departures from middle school and alllllll this together time. I mean, maybe this day will mark the turn of something new for us all. Wouldn't that be lovely? The brightness of your today to lighten a murky, exhausting year.

Cast some of that golden goodness this way, sister. 

It has been quite a year, birthday girl. 

Tonight was a reflection of so many nights these days... you giggling upstairs in your room with friends on the phone, the neon reflection of your LED lights bouncing off the walls down the hall and a gentle plea for more minutes on your phone before the dreaded NetNanny App locks that ish down. Predictable, slightly annoying and absolutely oozing with the glaze of teendom. We are here for it.

Time is such a unique concept while parenting a teenager. All those years I longed for the life of bigger kids and more sleep only to discover that teens still keep me up, make all the messes and eat all my snacks...just with bigger bodies and louder voices. Probably best I didn't realize that little bit of info in the early years of parenting.  At times this year, we have found discord in our timing, unkind words are shared and the silent resistance of your budding independence crowds my spaces. Growing up can be slightly uncomfortable, no? 

What I don't mention when I seem frustrated, is how easily I can feel lost. Unsteady footfalls, I glance up to realize that the map I have in hand is outdated and while I remember climbing aboard a familiar passenger car, in actuality, I have landed on the express train and I am careening down the tracks at an uncomfortable speed to some place I have never been before. It is overwhelming. You and me. Carving out new paths together--- you counting down the minutes to independence and me clutching tightly to the few I have left with you right by my side. What a weirdy-little waltz of emotion this season can be. I know that the rest of our gang will have it easier down the line and each day, I become increasingly thankful for your patience and grace. We will figure it out together. It's what we have always done. 

So on to this next chapter of high school. Soon our calendar will be filled with advanced coursework, cheerleading, masks and new normals... maybe if we are lucky... the hopeful promise of future crowds. I'm excited for the return of hugs, sleepovers and evenings spent under those Friday night lights. So much joy awaits in your golden year of life. Pandemic be damned, we are going to make it shine.

First to forge the path and the one to make me "Mom". My hardest and best job and all because there was a you in my life. 

Love you, first born. Happy next twirl around the sun.


Sunday, August 2, 2020

A Quarantine SIX

Annie May.

There is a light that burns within you that seems almost other-worldly. Wrapped in impish delight, your magical goodness feels like this rare gift we stumbled upon and somehow have managed to keep for ourselves. In all the logistical thinking that goes with with a weary and crowded mind (read: NONE), I would worry that my time with you might be limited somehow. Like any day, we were going to discover this horrific finding or medical condition that was going to take you away from us. This fear would catch my breath as you snuggled in closer or smiled your twinkly eyes my direction. It was irrationally crazy, untrue and yet- terrifying. You see, I just couldn't fathom how a brightness like that could stay here for always. 

And yet, here we are.

 Your steady glow in this family grows stronger still for six beautiful years and I am slowly leaning in to the truth that you were meant to be ours. How did we get so lucky?

You continue to be so quirky and uniquely you. Shoes lost, clothing optional, covered in someone else's confiscated hair chalk or makeup at all times. Just when we think that you float above reality-- you will hack into our technology, order animal fart apps on our Alexa with secret, memorized codes and change Dad's watch face on a dime without him even noticing. You are selectively attentive to details but only on Annie May time. It is simultaneously fascinating and infuriating. One day, we are going to harness that feral reserve you delicately balance and channel it to save the planet or something. There is some real ingenuity there, buddy.

You continue to be the most incredible, independent player, lover of ALL the cats, fierce beanie boo collector and crazed, makeup enthusiast I have ever met. At bedtime one evening in April, you casually whispered in my ear that you were a "cat in a human body" and I absolutely believe that to be a possibility. Good thing I'm not allergic to cats.

Tonight at dinner we were discussing what you wanted us to order out for your birthday dinner. You immediately informed us all that what you really wanted was for us to get everyone's favorite individual meal and eat it all together. It is your day and you just want to take care of everyone else. You told us that would be your "perfect meal." To quote Molly, "We don't deserve you, Annie". 

You know what, she is absolutely correct. 

Thanks for putting up with all our jaded, brooding and cynical ways and adding to the mix your whimsical light and goodness. YOU MAKE US ALL BETTER PEOPLE. 

Here's to your next year, sweet kitty. 

May it shine as brightly as you do in our lives each and every day. 


Birthday Video below--- I really think this song was written specifically for you.