It is funny how different your perception of married life is when you first jump into it. And regardless of the successful (or unsuccessful) marriages you may have witnessed, you still plunge right in to it with the tiny notion that yours is going to be nothing less than perfect. No? Just me? Realism and myself never did maintain much of a friendship.
And while 6 years is just a tiny dip into what I intend to be my journey of this married life, it has been long enough for my perception to change. I may have started in a waltz but look down now and it seems that I am mid Bossa Nova. Which is good... because I am all for embracing the Brazilian side of living.
I am now latched on (seems to me the MOST used word EVER these days in my world) to the belief that marriage is not perfect. In fact, it is far from it. I would almost go as far to say that marriage is down right messy at times. Shared living space? Joint checking? Dirty underwear on the bathroom floor... No? Then toss in late night feedings, sick toddlers in your bed (that may or may not greet you with spew), job changes, zip code changes, schedule upgrades, funding downgrades and a green mini van named "Olive" that definitely seems to have a love affair with hidden goldfish. See? Messy. Just when you think that you have a handle on the newest version of now, something in the universe throws you a curveball... a surprise of some sort to kink it a little off kilter. And let me tell you, we have definitely had our share of surprises.
Now don't let me darken your race to the alter because when I say marriage is messy, imperfect, challenging... I am also saying that marriage is real. Real raw emotions. In fact, I think it is the most important real relationship you can have with a person. Your spouse shouldn't be the person you hide your bad hair, bad day, bad attitude from. In fact, ideally--- that should be the person you want to be with the most in all of those situations. At least I do.
So yes, while my marriage has been plunging in a direction I may have no map for and the world sometimes feel a little too chaotic for my liking... I can just take pause and embrace this person right here with me... who happens to be learning the Bossa Nova too.
And that part of marriage? Well, that sure does feel just about perfect.