Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Beanstalk?

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Exhibit A: The beanstalk.
You might be wondering why I have posted a random picture of my neighbors house on our family blog. Take a look closer and join in the suburbia drama of this summer. What you are looking at is the big giant green plant leaning against my neighbor's tree. While, we are not quite certain what it is exactly, the Mays in our infinite wisdom have decided that it should forever be known as the Solta beanstalk... or as Molly calls it "Bean Sock".
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You see this beanstalk has caused quite a bit of drama in the neighborhood. Many a stroller-pushin' Mommy have been known to quickly cross to the opposite end of the street to keep a safe distance from the ominous plant. The mailman pauses to look up at the huge green edifice EVERY day that he passes it. (And yes, how nerdy am I for knowing this). On a recent walk, I tried to convince Kelly that I thought I had heard it mumble "feed me Seymour" as I passed it a few days before. And while he told me that I had probably was wrong...we still crossed to the opposite side of the street....you know, just to be sure.
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You see this beanstalk has become a trophy for all members of the anti-home owner associations of the world. Who are "they" to tell someone what they can and cannot grow on their property (even if it may eat small children and old ladies.) That is right... what a great way to really stick it to the man... There were many nights where Kelly and I giggled in bed about the prospect of sneaking over there and chopping it down... just to see the neighborhood calamity that would surely ensue. And lo and behold...
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we woke up last Saturday to the picture above. Somebody, had chopped down the carnivorous plant. You see, this beanstalk was not planted in the house photoed above...no, it actually resided in the yard five houses to the left. So why display another person's violated magical plant in your yard? These are our theories... in no particular order.
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1. They really believe this beanstalk when planted in their yard will take them to some mystical place and escape the gouging gas prices and dissipation of worldly resources.
2. They are proudly displaying their devious misconduct
3. They are secret plant lovers devastated by the loss of such a unique earthly giant.
4. They really just think it is funny looking.
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Either way, it is a little strange to watch the beanstalk slowly deteriorate under the scorching heat. So, now the drama surrounds around this mysterious perpetrator. Who could have carried out this act that so many of us only dreamed about? I've got my money on the little old lady that walks her dog in a shower cap every morning... something just isn't right about that old bird.
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R.I.P Audrey II. It's been real.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG....That is Hilarious!
Taylor