My heart has had so much to say yet it seems recently my brain hasn’t been able to find the words. Lost perhaps in the oblivion of my internal spinning wheel I have emerged an introvert. Perhaps it is the rut so many of us stumble upon coming off the high of holidays, or maybe it could have something to do with the fact that the temperature has been changing around 40-60 degrees on what seems like a daily basis… and today’s forecast was cloudy.
My husband referred to me today as a sunflower and I think that might be the perfect assessment… it seems when the sun is away I tend to become lost in the clouds.
My need to write has quietly wisped away leaving me plenty of time to be in my head… processing. Wrapped up in the warmth of pajama pants and the safety of the Disney channel in the background I can watch the images of Haiti. I can combat this intense heartache with small doses of joy. If only we could all escape to joy when reality became just a little too scary… and for that I am intensely grateful and beyond humbled. Daily my heart has been touched by these heroic individuals called to service in such turmoil and feel awe and envy of their giving spirit----all the while sitting down to tea with my favorite dynamic duo. How is that I am playing tea party while another at this exact moment is helping to calm a broken tiny child that has just lost her entire family in destruction?
So I am processing---processing a world that is much greater than my tiny life. Taking a moment to hone in on the key emotions that connect us all and praying with my whole heart that these people, in a world so different than my own, are feeling at least a moments love during their hard and scary day---even if it is love from one overly-dramatic often times ungrateful housewife a million miles away---- cause Lord knows I am sending it in abundance…
Yet, somehow it just doesn’t seem like enough.
So if you too want to feel inspired beyond words and greatly humbled too send prayers this way… every little bit helps, right?