This week has felt like complete upheaval and finally (although I hate to jinx it)… finally it feels like the world is almost as it should be… minus one very lovely, very non-functioning Isuzu rodeo named Stella.
I know that a car is a material object that doesn’t have feelings or memories. Believe me I know this. I do name my cars because I pretty much name everything--- it makes it home for me. What I have been struggling with is rather the feelings and memories I have associated with my car, Stella.
I don’t know if there has ever been a moment in your life where you suddenly felt grown up. I have actually had two moments like this (one for another post). And while it isn’t the object that makes me a grown up the memory will always stand as a trigger for me. The week after I bought Stella I was walking out of my apartment and made it to the sidewalk before I took pause. Looking out I saw my car. It was the nicest thing I had ever owned. I guess to fully understand you would have to have seen my older cars (which I loved too!!!) but the love was shown in dents and mismatched panels. To own something so nice just felt grown up. I remember walking to the car and just feeling like I could take on the world --- if even for an instant. I hope to never lose that memory or the boundless possibilities I had in that moment.
As the years went on life definitely took a beating on Stella. The hood was dinted star gazing in Driftwood, Texas with my awesome boyfriend, the windshield was cracked on a random trip to Austin and an abundance of goldfish lived for a healthy three years in the crevices of the seat. But oh--- we loved that car to the core! Stella was a hot mess arriving at The Mansion on our wedding night covered in graffiti and if I recall correctly a diet coke on the antennae (it was rather classy). She came through at clutch times and gracefully held together when we brought each of our precious new babies home for the first time. Looking back at the memories of this car’s lifetime it is quite clear to see that frankly, life has been good.
So now--- I enter the next phase. That’s right, world. You are looking at one bonafide, slightly apprehensive, Mini-Van-Mommy. I don’t quite know if I have what it takes and this definitely isn’t where I would have put myself five years back but I am here and plunging in to this whole new realm of extracurriculars, carpooling and mini road trips. Here’s the biggest secret of all --- this car is pretty stinkin’ amazing. I am finding all sorts of treasures as I drive it. I like to think of it as my very own go-go gadget car. So as I make lofty promises of less goldfish and subscribe to great plans of weekly car washes I drive on… ready for the next set of adventures with my little family
and of course,